Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
