Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
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I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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