I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
