just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
