I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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