No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
