I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
