I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
