I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
