his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
