last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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