if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
