Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
