Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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