apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
