I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
