My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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