Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
