Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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