How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
