his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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