whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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