why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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