the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
pray to the hookup gods
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
