I hate your face
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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