when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
