If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
