Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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