if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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