When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
