Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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