Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
