Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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