Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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