hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
