This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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