The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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