HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
