I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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