I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
