Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
