Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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