About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
