I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
