OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it because I queefed?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
