I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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