I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
