He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
