but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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