Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
