So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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