She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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