I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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