I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
