I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
