Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize