why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
