I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
