She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
