I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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