When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I look better un-naked...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
